My story
Adoption Ark is happy to announce that their very own Alla Afinogenova has adopted a son. We are very happy for her and for her family!
(Alla’s speaking)
Adoption has been a subject of my thoughts for a number of years. Working in the adoption field for years, I knew how much determination and strength it took from some of my clients and I saw how happy they were with their adopted children. I went with them through the process so many times, and shared their anxieties, their fears, their commitment, their tears and laughter, their joy and their delight --- and finally it all came true for me!
My husband and our daughter, who is 15, were both very supportive. We went through it all together.
When I saw these eyes, the eyes of our boy, I was struck. He reminded me of my daughter when she was a baby. It was hard to believe! Looking at him was like looking at angel.
Adoption is a wonderful experience to me. I look at each day from the past and I miss each and every day. Every small moment of it was precious even with uncertainty, anxiety, fears, doubts, expectations, excitement, sad days, happy days --- everything is so missed.
The first trip was in December 2004. My family and I stayed in Russia longer than usual and we visited the baby house every day. Now I treasure every little piece of memory about those visits: I remember the day when he was brought in to the visitation room for the first time. I remember the feeling when the caretaker brought him and placed him on my lap. I was almost crying. It was a baby in blood and flesh, a boy, a strong one, a beautiful one --- it was like a blessing, otherwise I do not know how else to describe it. Do you want him? – What a silly question. We would be HONORED! BLESSED! I still feel this enormous happiness that he was given us. It is an unbelievable gift from God. After the first trip was completed, we had to return home. But we returned home without him.
The second trip was in the beginning of February 2005. It was a joyful trip. The date of the court was awesome. It was a sunny, all ‘spring-feeling,’ happy, and lucky day in St. Petersburg. We were so happy when the judge approved our adoption request.
The day we took him out of the baby house was a wonderful day. We brought a huge bag of clothing to the children and gifts to all caretakers and to the administration and also two huge cakes for them to celebrate. The caretakers were almost crying. They are emotionally attached to children; the moment of separation with the baby house ladies was bittersweet.
We walked out of the baby house’s door for the last time (this door is almost an object of my dreams, we walked through it so many times and we went back and forth and all these strong emotions were there when we arrived in this door and when we left the baby house through it!) . Leaving the baby house for the last time with our baby in our arms was a dream comes true. I imagined this day so many times before and it was finally happening.
I want to elaborate a little about another topic: I probably will be right if I’ll say that any adoptive parent has developed some kind of uneasy feeling of guilt towards other children, who are left behind. I will tell you a short story. It was a day THREE from the first visit. My husband and I, with our baby in a carriage, went outside. There were one or two rotten structures on the playground, and a few small warmly dressed up children – little angels, who look so lonely and so painfully poignant on the snow. We tried to approach the children to speak with them and the lady caretaker who did not know us – she asked us not to speak with them: ‘the children might get upset and might start crying.’ We understood it. If we would approach the children, we would play with them a little, but we would eventually go away. And for them it would be a wake up of sad feelings that somebody has parents, and they do not. The caretakers hold children up tight emotionally-wise in order for them not to release their feelings and not to sink into their feelings – they might become sad, very sad. My husband and I were read as ‘parental figures’ – even for so small children --- we looked like parents to them. It was probably the most profoundly sad day.
For us and for our boy it was a different story. We brought him home. He was marvelous through all of the traveling! I, who expected to have a crying baby for 10 + hours on a plane, was amazed how wonderfully he behaved himself.
Now, at home, he says ‘mama-mama-mama-mama’ all the time. He smiles, he is amusing and so much fun. I love it when he bites a little bit of his lower lip and he has this mysterious, silly, fun-fun expression on his face. He is a big boy, he is strong, energetic and very determined. He has a character, he knows what he wants. Born in May, he is Taurus the Bull, and I love his energy. Everyone in the family adores him. His daddy is happy, his sister Maria is happy (finally she has a brother and she has one more topic to discuss for hours with her girlfriends over the phone!), grandmas and grandpas are here every weekend!
I love my job more than ever. I love my family and it feels complete. The child that we brought to our life made our lives a pure bliss. Each minute, each second with him is enjoyment.
Welcome home, Anthony Aleksei! We love you so much! You are a treasure, you are everything and much more we ever could dream about! God bless you, our boy!